“Can’t Don’t Have To”
Sometimes a phrase just reaches out and grabs me by the throat and won’t let go. I heard the phase “Can’t don’t have to” last week and it is such a throat-grabbing phrase. It keeps bangin’ around my noggin. (Don’t know what a noggin is? Here is a noggin, courtesy of http://www.asiaramblin.com/2012/03/no-noggins.html#!/2012/03/no-noggins.html )
(I also just realized that I am mixing my metaphors….)
So, maybe you are asking yourself what exactly “Can’t don’t have to” means.
Good question, I say.
And the answer is pretty simple, but pretty simply brilliant.
Saying “I can’t” gives me an excuse to say “I don’t have to.”
Want an example? (And these are some real-life examples from just this past week….)
- “I can’t ever lose weight, so it doesn’t matter if I eat junk food.” (i.e. “I don’t have to watch what I eat.”)
- “I can’t ever think of what to say to someone who is grieving, so I’ll just send a sympathy card.” (i.e. “I don’t have to call my friend and be uncomfortable.”)
- “I can’t ever exercise consistently, so why even bother?” (i.e. “I don’t have to get up off the couch.”)
- “I can’t get mad about that to my husband, so I’ll just let it go.” (i.e. “I don’t have to have this uncomfortable conversation.”)
“Can’t” is helping me to justify a lot of negative behavior. It is becoming my partner in crime, my accomplice, my co-conspirator. Its green light is putting the red light on a lot of things that I actually can accomplish. You know what? “Can’t” is truly starting to piss me off.
So, now that I know that “Can’t don’t have to”, I’m on the lookout for hidden “can’t”s in my life. Next time that little bug starts trying to stop me from being awesome, I’m going to put it in its place.
